Sure enough, they found that people who engaged in social interaction with a barista, by making eye contact, smiling, and talking briefly, reported … How to Know When Your Relationship Is Over, “He Had High Self-Esteem and Didn’t Ask Who I’d Slept With”, Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Just a Thimbleful of Alcohol Could Impair Driving Ability, Covid-19 Pandemic Measures and Substance Abuse, The Rise of COVID-19 Vaccine Selfies on Social Media. Why You Should Talk to Strangers Surprising research reveals the benefits of striking up a conversation. I've met a few other people who tell me the same thing. Why Fans of Horror Movies May Be More Resilient, Designed to Be Kind: Why We Are More Social Than Selfish. Second, all participants in our experiments were, by scientific necessity, told to behave one way or another. (NIU), I picked up Talking to Strangers in anticipation of another thought-provoking treatise for generalists from this widely acclaimed thinker. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550613502990. In contrast, study participants in the “efficient” condition were instructed to avoid any unnecessary conversation, be ready to pay, and prioritize the efficiency of their interaction. PSYCHOLOGY of TALKING to COMPLETE STRANGERS This blog post IS ABOUT the NEW TREND growing firmly in the MODERN WORLD i.e. They suggest that transforming impersonal exchanges into social interactions are opportunities to boost happiness that would otherwise be missed in our quest for efficiency. Having the attentional capacity of a gold fish at times also makes the vast scientific areas a perfect subject for me. It’s a must-read for salespeople of all verticals, and we’ve got a complete summary here. These quick informational conversations are often viewed as exactly that: simple data exchanges. Sure enough, they found that people who engaged in social interaction with a barista by making eye contact, smiling, and talking briefly, reported more positive affect than those who simply aimed for efficiency. How to Know When Your Relationship Is Over, “He Had High Self-Esteem and Didn’t Ask Who I’d Slept With”, Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Just a Thimbleful of Alcohol Could Impair Driving Ability, Covid-19 Pandemic Measures and Substance Abuse, The Rise of COVID-19 Vaccine Selfies on Social Media, Dating an Introvert: How to Bond While Respecting Boundaries, How to Have a Great Social Life Even with Social Anxiety. I don't have any reason to chat up strangers Despite the priority of efficiency over sociability, treating a financial transaction like a social interaction does not necessarily take any extra time. Drawing on a survey among 412 Dutch adolescents, we found We can smile and make eye contact while we talk, prefacing our order with a friendly greeting. Interactions with female strangers are predominantly friendly in the dreams of both males and females. So we avert our eyes, zip our lips, and keep to ourselves. If you are on a first-name basis with the server at the local sandwich shop or coffee cart, you know what I mean. Yet if that is our mindset, we may be missing out. The Psychology of Selling is a well-regarded book by legendary sales professional Brian Tracy. Picture it: You’re alone in a coffee shop, mindlessly scanning the newspaper. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. When You’re Most Likely to … One study queried train commuters; a second, bus commuters. Mar 9, 2015 - http://msconfuddled.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/psychology-of-talking-to-complete.html. In the audiobook version of Talking to Strangers, you'll hear the voices of people he interviewed--scientists, criminologists, military psychologists. But we’re terrible at. How we react to strangers is actually the subject of several interesting theories about human origins, childhood psychological development, and … It appears that although individuals may be reluctant to engage in genuine social interactions with strangers, they experience a higher degree of happiness when they treat a stranger as if they were a weak social tie. According to Timothy Levine, the academic psychologist on whom Gladwell relies for his basic argument, the presumption that people tell the truth is almost universal, a few Holy Fools (and, I suppose, Judge Judy) excepted. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Talking to Strangers is Gladwell’s attempt to address this problem. preference to USE 1+ APPS to communicate with strangers which can be associated with potential MENTAL HEALTH implications. Talk To Strangers Online here, How to Make Yourself Happy by the Way You Treat Others, 5 Myths About Introverts and Extraverts at Work. Jaime Kurtz, Ph.D., is an associate professor of psychology at James Madison University. Bookmark this article (Image credit: Alamy) By … Commiserate with a classmate. SHARE. Posted Apr 14, 2020 . Chances are, you're overestimating the potential awkwardness and dismissing the potential feelings of happiness and connection these small encounters will provide. We tend to think that close others—friends, romantic partners, and family members—are our biggest sources of connection, laughter, and warmth. Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder. Ted Bundy, Casey Anthony, and Jodi Arias talked to strangers. Aristotle spoke of three other kinds of explanations (Rychlak, 1981). The rest of human contact transpires through electronic means. TWEET. Couldn't agree more. For most of us, a typical day involves spending time with family and friends, and also with strangers. Is It Me, or Are Strangers Acting Friendlier Than Usual? According to a study by Dr. Elizabeth Dunn, a professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia, talking to strangers makes people feel more cheerful, behave more pleasantly, and believe they belong in a community. Since, I have experienced decent conversation with strangers may feel like finding a new friend. Credit... Gracia Lam. “Mistakenly Seeking Solitude.” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 143 (2014): 1980-1999. This makes sense if talking to a stranger really is less pleasant than sitting in … You're essentially held hostage for hours and it's not fair to people who just want to read their book. These 4 ideas can also help you as an individual, regardless of … It shares ideas, methods, strategies, and techniques for salespeople to sell faster and easier than ever before. Outside of the lab, there is likely a limit to this effect; at some point, the truly introverted will feel exhausted from this effort, and disingenuous as well. It’s Trying to Save Us. Because happiness is priceless, why not share the wealth? In social psychology, it’s a thing. This lesson reveals a surprising strategy that goes against what we all tend to expect from having a chat with strangers. They're told life stories, subjected to weird political and religious screeds. idea: It’s very difficult to tell when people are lying. Strike up a conversation with your seatmate. Gillian M. Sandstrom and Elizabeth W. Dunn (2014) investigated the emotional benefit of superficial social interactions. As it turns out, many people are actually perfectly willing to talk—and may even be flattered to receive your attention. Casual connections with people we encounter in the course of daily life can give us the sense of belonging to a community. Why are so many people drawn to conspiracy theories in times of crisis? Our trust in strangers is dependent on their resemblance to others we’ve previously known, finds a new study by a team of psychology researchers. They avoid any kind of small talk because it inevitably ends up being uncomfortable. Sandstrom and Dunn were inspired to explore this area of interpersonal interaction in part due to previous research demonstrating the emotional significance of interacting with strangers. Talking to strangers also means that there’s always a chance of meeting someone who thinks differently from us. And because kindness is contagious, you may find yourself not only boosting your own mood but improving the experience of the customer in line behind you. … Court transcripts are brought to life with re-enactments. The researchers also argued that when we shy away from casual interactions with strangers, it is often due to a misplaced anxiety that they might not want to talk to us. 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